The issues related to a divorce do not end when you sign a piece of paper, especially when there are children involved. One of the biggest problems that your children have to deal with is not seeing a parent as much as they usually do. Children usually prefer both parents at home, so explaining that they will have to visit their mother or father in different homes is not a simple task. The following guide will help shed some light on this difficult conversation.
Put Your Children First
Making sure that you are united after a divorce could be the hardest thing to do for some couples. But it is extremely important you try to find a way to appear united in front of your children. This is important because most experts believe that a child may be able to take the news of custody changes, or the possibility of changes, better if both parents are on the same accord.
Unity shows your child that you are still his or her parents and that these changes do not mean that he or she is losing a parent in any way.
You can be honest with your children, but you must try to remain calm and avoid showing any kind of anger toward each other while you are informing them of the custody changes or the possibility of changes.
The reason is simply because it breaks the illusion that you are united and may add stress to the news that your young must hear. The best thing you can do at this point is try to stay positive to give your child a feeling of security.
Concentrate On What Won't Change
You have to understand that your children might feel like their foundation is breaking away when you inform them that they will not be living with both parents any longer. Some children might be able to accept the situation a little better if you help them concentrate on the things that will not change.
Consider some of the following things:
- Routines like clubs or sport teams that they participate in
Try to include other things that will remain the same after custody is resolved.
Be Brave and Prepared
Your children may not be able to control their feelings, so they might react angrily or ask questions. You want to make sure that you are both there for them and answer any questions they may have as honestly as possible.
What you want your children to ultimately feel is that both of you, as parents, will be there to carry them through this change.
Talk with a family law attorney from a firm like Fleishman Law Office SC as they may have other suggestions or resources that could help, such as suggesting a family therapist. Remember to tell your children to be honest if they have to go through the court appointed evaluation. This evaluation seeks to discover what your children think about you and your ex-spouse.